$RONALDRonald McDonald has found it's match
Ronald McDonald, the weary icon of the golden arches, clashes with a savage rival clown who seizes his empire through blood-soaked pranks and corporate sabotage.
Ronald McDonald, the weary icon of the golden arches, clashes with a savage rival clown who seizes his empire through blood-soaked pranks and corporate sabotage.
Synopsis
Ronald McDonald, long the face of fast-food joy, finds his world upended when a mysterious female clown named Vera emerges from the shadows, hijacking McDonald’s campaigns with grotesque viral stunts that turn customers into frenzied followers. As burger joints erupt in chaos and Ronald’s colorful friends fracture under pressure, the aging clown must dredge up forgotten skills from his creation myth to survive. Vera’s assaults escalate from billboard takeovers to drive-thru massacres, forcing Ronald into a high-stakes war across neon-lit highways and abandoned playlands. Old allies like Grimace and the Hamburglar reveal dark secrets while Ronald confronts the hollow emptiness behind his eternal smile. The battle culminates in a final showdown at the original McDonald’s site where legacy and reinvention collide in explosive absurdity.
The story
Ronald rules his empire until Vera’s first viral attack humiliates him on live TV, exposing cracks in his perfect facade and drawing him out of retirement.
Alliances crumble as Vera infiltrates the McDonald’s inner circle, leading to brutal mascot-on-mascot skirmishes across America that test Ronald’s morality and force grim choices.
Ronald embraces his monstrous origins in a fiery finale at the birthplace of the franchise, defeating Vera by weaponizing the very consumer hunger she exploited.
The cast
The once-beloved clown who built an empire but now questions the cost of endless smiles.
dream cast: Jim Carrey
A feral new mascot who weaponizes social media and fear to topple Ronald’s throne.
dream cast: Anya Taylor-Joy
Ronald’s purple companion who harbors regrets over decades of corporate complicity.
dream cast: John Goodman
A masked opportunist who switches sides until loyalty is forced upon him.
dream cast: Ryan Reynolds
The ruthless executive who created both Ronald and Vera to maximize profits at any cost.
dream cast: Cate Blanchett
Dream crew
in the style of Guy Ritchie, whose style fits hyperkinetic clown violence
in the style of Jordan Peele, for razor-sharp mascot satire
in the style of Danny Elfman, for twisted carnival menace
Cold open
INT. ABANDONED MCDONALD’S PLAYPLACE - NIGHT Flickering fluorescent lights buzz over faded Ronald murals. A hooded figure in a blood-red clown suit steps into frame, heels clicking on cracked tiles. VERA (whispering into a headset) Smile for the camera, Ronald. The kids are hungry. She yanks a rope. Dozens of animatronic Ronald heads drop from the ceiling, jaws snapping. Outside, a drive-thru line of cars erupts in screams as customers devour burgers with glowing eyes. VERA (laughing) Your turn, old man. Let’s see if you still got the sauce.
Why now
In an era of collapsing brand trust, endless clown memes, and fast-food labor wars, this pitch weaponizes nostalgia into vicious satire that audiences crave right now.
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